A Soldier's Heaven

"Sometimes he believed in a Heaven, mostly he believed in a heaven; there ought to be a Heaven for young soldiers, especially for young soldiers, but just as surely for the old soldier, there ought to be more than just that metallic end, and then silence, then the worms, and sometimes he believed, mostly he believed, but just this moment he did not believe at all, knew Kilrain was dead and gone forever, that the grin had died and would not reappear, ever, there was nothing beyond the sound of the guns but the vast dark, the huge nothing, not even silence, just an end..." (p.327)

Chamberlain showed how much he would miss his dear friend Kilrain in these words. He felt an extreme sense of loss. I've never lost anyone really close to me, and therefore can't understand the amount of pain involved. For Chamberlain it was enough for him to deny his belief in an afterlife, at least for this moment. Whether for better or worse, cannon fire broke him from his quiet suffering.